The Over-thinker Club!

Hi guys,

Hope you're all well. I'm enjoying writing this blog series and I am finding the writing to be very therepeutic. I never really know what I'm going to write about week to week. I usually just go with what ever comes to the forefront. I had a funny week this week. As an outsider, you might think having Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday as days off this week being a good thing, and you'd be right. Having time off is lovely! I made a mistake though, a big mistake - I started overthinking. 

I've dealt with anxiety over nine years and I know my triggers. This week I made a mistake that I've made several times over. A thought came in. I overthought it and it spiralled out of control. Some people try to mask it by keeping busy. I'm not very good at that though. My mind will try and go back in time and work out the thought or the situation or try to change whatever happened in the past and I can't do that. I know I can't but my mind keeps wanting to try. It's so frustrating and I find it really hard. It's nearly like I can't accept things that haven't gone my way, taking more responsibility than I should for certain situations.

I've definitely asked why do I have to have this? Why me? Why can't I just get over this? I suppose we have to play with the cards we've been dealt. I do think it's part of my make up and as I said before, I often turn to the saying "This too will pass". 

When you start to overthink you can feel guilty. I know I have little to complain about in the grand scheme of things. I've a wonderful family, great friends and a very understanding boyfriend with the patience of a saint!! I always say talk it out though even if you do feel 'guilty' for burdening them because as they say, "The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind". 

What I do When I Start Overthinking

Talk to someone - I usually tell Kev and he can talk some sense into me. That doesn't work all the time. Other times I just have to ride it out.

Walk it out - Sometimes when the anxiety hits I feel way too overwhelmed for intense exercise. I can always manage a walk. Put on a warm jacket and a bobble hat and off you go.

Use the STOP ACRONYM - I've talked about this before. I learned it in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). It only works though if you use it straight away. 

STOP SIGN - You visualise a flashing neon stop sign when the thought comes in.

Take Three Deep Breaths - Take big deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.

Observe the thoughts - Don't engage with the thoughts, gently observe them.

Proceed with kindness - Be kind, always.

Read a book - Sometimes getting lost in someone else's story can free you from your own troubles.

Watch your self-talk - I like that saying "Fake it until you can make it". If you watch your self talk and act like your own best friend, eventually you will start to believe it. This takes a lot of practice and maintenance.

You really aren't alone if you're an over-thinker. I feel for you, I know what it's like. You end up creating problems that weren’t there to begin with. However, as long as I feel I'm managing it overall, I'm happy!

Again, I'm always here if anyone wants to talk.

Mind one another,

Love 

M

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